I finally submitted my dissertation to my committee late last night. My six-year-old daughter has been looking forward to my finishing for a long time, and I keep promising to be done and not actually being done. So last night she requested that I wake her up when I finished. She smiled with her eyes closed, gave me a hug, and went back to sleep. This morning we had pancakes to celebrate, and then she and I made sugar cookies for a little party that was supposed to include a Hoedown at which we danced the Macarena, but it got too late and we forgot. So we danced the Macarena in her bed. (Btw–just read a translation of the lyrics–not really kid appropriate!)
Do I feel relief? Kind of. I’m definitely getting more rested. Today I got to swim and do yoga without rushing to get to something else. But the rest of life hasn’t suddenly gotten easier. My house is still Clutter Central, my fridge desperately needs cleaning out, my son still cried for a portion of the afternoon (this year has been a hard year so far), and I’m behind on my copyediting homework.* And I still feel like it’s not quite over. I do have the defense in two weeks, and I’m sure I’ll need to make some more changes afterward. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to change a few things, especially since my abstract is pretty sucky at the moment.
I am grateful to have relief from the pressure of a big deadline. And I’m sure as I uncoil over the next few days and begin to relax more, I’ll notice how much lighter I feel.
*Yes. Somehow I thought it was a good idea to take a copyediting class the semester I finished my dissertation. And then I got a B- on my first assignment. I’m rethinking that choice a little bit.